Recall Notice

The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.  This defect is due to a malfunction in the original and prototype units, code-name Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.  It has been technically termed, “Subsequent Internal Non-morality”  (SIN).

Systems of SIN include, but are not limited to:  loss of direction, foul vocal emissions, amnesia of origin, lack of true peace and joy, selfish and/or violent behavior, depression or confusion in the mental component, fearfulness, idolatry, and/or rebellion.

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair service, free of charge, to correct the SIN defect.  The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.  No additional fee is required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R.  Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.  Next, receive free download FORGIVENESS from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.  No matter how large or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Please see the operating manual, THE HOLY BIBLE, for further details on these necessary repairs.  As an added feature of the upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units direct monitoring and assistance through a Maintenance Technician known as THE HOLY SPIRIT.  Repaired units automatically receive Him and He takes up permanent residence in the premises.  They need only make Him welcome.

WARNING:  Continuing to operate without these upgrades voids the Manufacturer’s warranty,  exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and resulting in the unit being permanently impounded.  For free emergency service, call Jesus.

DANGER:  Units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.  The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter HEAVEN so as to prevent permanent contamination of that facility.

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

(Romans 3:23)

“The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  (Romans 6:23)

Special Note:   This “notice” is not original with us.  We do not know the original author which is why credit has not been given.