Diagnosis: Brain Cancer

We’ve just passed the one year anniversary for our CrossRoads column.  Now, our personal lives are at one of the CrossRoads of which we have spoken.  We have intentionally kept our names off this column and that of our church in “small print” so that Jesus Christ alone would be glorified in our efforts.  We wanted no attention to be drawn to us.  We did, and still do, want all focus on Christ… His life, His sacrificial death on the cross for our sins, and His bodily resurrection to life eternal so that we, too, may live eternally with Him.

Through no choice of our own now, but God’s, we find ourselves gently pushed forward to center stage.  We want to take this opportunity to let you know what is going on in our lives so that you can pray for us knowledgably.  We also want to thank all of you for your care and concern, your prayers and your kindnesses to us.

Here are the facts… I (Bonnie) was diagnosed with a brain tumor on August 2^nd.  I underwent a needle biopsy of the tumor at Mayo Clinic on August 20^th  which shows that I have a Level 2 (mostly) - 3 (slightly) astrocytoma on my right brain.  It is inoperable (non-removable) due to the fact that it is infused (intermixed) with a large portion of healthy brain tissue.  Surgical removal would certainly be “incomplete and… would run an appreciable probability of permanent neurological injury.”  In other words, the “cure” would be worse than the disease.  Inoperable, however, does not mean untreatable.  Our next goal is to stop the advance of the cancer through radiation treatments.  This will begin in Denver this week and proceed over the next several weeks.  The Lord willing, we will be home with our church family on weekends.  For now, I am virtually symptom free, quite healthy and feeling great!

The Lord has prepared my heart so graciously for this trial over the past few years.  I have always believed it is important to not wait until someone holds a gun to your head and says “Renounce Christ, or die!” to make a decision about whether or not He is worthy to give your life for.  You need to make that decision now… today… before you’re put in that situation.  I had already done that long ago.  If Jesus Christ is not worth dying for, then He is not worth living for!  I say He is worthy of both.  Whether my years are nearly done on this earth, or whether I have 40 or 50 more is really not important.  My life is “hid with Christ in God.” There is no safer place to be than in the perfect will of God. 

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has ordered and numbered my exact days from the beginning of time.  He has set them, and He is in absolute control.  Though I go to doctors for care and treatment, it is done with the absolute understanding of my heart that they cannot add even one minute to the days that God foreordained as the span of my life.  Likewise, Satan himself cannot steal one day from my life.  It is not possible.  I am totally and completely in the loving hands of the Sovereign Creator of the universe and my soul is in the care of His Glorious Son who gave HIS life that I might live eternally.  Truly, “It is Well With My Soul.”  Whether it be through my healing or sickness, whether strength or weakness, I pray that Christ is glorified.

We’re all living on death row, after all.  Some of us are just privileged to be more consistently aware of that than others.

It is my prayer for each of you that you will know and receive the absolute love of Jesus Christ, being born-again and forgiven, cleansed of sin, and then, that you will walk closely to your Savior, Jesus Christ, growing in the grace and knowledge of Him who died for you… that it will be “well with your soul” no matter what storms of life may rage your way… that your hearts will be kept in perfect peace.  Mine is.